Will hypnosis work if ................................
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the client is needing to keep their problem / behaviour?
As an NLP Practitioner I am aware that behaviour can only be changed if the person is really congruent about wanting to change and wanting it for themselves and not because somebody else wants it for them.
I am enquiring if this is true of hypnosis - I think I know the answer but would like some advice ...............
eldest daughter, 24 yrs, has back pain and has had it since epidural 6 yrs ago.
She, in our opinion, needs this pain as she gains from it, in that she gets disability allowance now and attention for her pain in many ways.
NOW, please [b:98383aa46a][u:98383aa46a]do not [/u:98383aa46a][/b:98383aa46a]think I am being a mean and nasty mother by not believing she has the pain as I do believe she feels the pain.
She is our daughter, unofficially adopted through long term fostering, she was seriously abused and came to us at 14 yrs with a hell of a lot of baggage. Having gone through the fostering system, children's homes etc she does know how to play the system and she has always thought life owes her a lot - and it probably does as she had crap birth parents who abused her and took advantage of her in appalling ways. It is because of this history that we feel she uses the fact that she has back pain to her advantage.
I have thought of buying her the pain CD but wonder if it would work for her as she may not want to give up the pain she has as it is serving her well at the present time.
What do you all think :?:Hi Purple,
(your name always makes me smile when I write it btw, so perhaps I should put you on the happiness thread!)
I don't have a professional opinion, just my gut reaction to this.
I think if the client is needing the behaviour / problem then hypnosis will not work. The giving up smoking is the classic example - often the client has been nagged into coming by well-meaning and loving family / friends - they don't really want to give up smoking so it won't work.
I haved worked as a therapist, not in the hypnosis field and the first question I ask people is 'why are you here today?' If they look at their partner / parent / friend and say 'because they wanted me to', then I show them the door. The most important thing with therapy is that the client *wants* to be there and is ready to take responsibility for their health.
I think, especially in the mother / child relationship you should just back right away (from one mother to another, trust me, I know how hard this is), just let your daughter know you are there for her, but at 24 she is an adult who has to make her own journey through life.
Say you enforced hypnosis and it *was* successful, you would actually be taking away her crutch, her label, her *identity* and that could lead to more resentment.
Back pain, imo, is more often than not to do with a sense of feeling unsupported. Bearing in mind the situations she has had in her life, it's hardly suprising her anguish is manifesting in her back.
This must be a terribly hard situation for you ,and I wish you all the best.
wingsoflove (wingsoflove)
Thanks for your reply - it is what I felt really anyway but was very interested in other's opinions.
I would never enforce it atall.
I too am the same as you in that any client who I see is questioned on their congruence and reasons for wanting change.
So hard as a mother though when one sees someone else and thinks" I know what would do her/him the world of good" but of course it won't unless they choose it for themselves anyway!!!! (Purple)As you know the only way is to somehow see that she is missing out due to this.
Erikson would be a master at this
Charles (charles vald)
[quote:6a7b87cab8="charles vald"]
Erikson would be a master at this [/quote:6a7b87cab8]
Oh my! <insert I-am-not-worthy smilie> Erikson - what a hero. Excuse the unabashed, hero worship for a moment folks!
He'd just take her on a walk around the garden and talk about tomatoes for ten minutes and hey presto - no more discomfort body, mind or spirit.......
What a guy <sigh> there's no one quite like him.......
wingsoflove (wingsoflove)Apparently he could only see in purple! (Purple)
[quote:88e33b984c="Purple"]Apparently he could only see in purple![/quote:88e33b984c]
Really? I wonder what life in purple would look like?!
Wouldn't it be great if you could literally see the world through someone elses' eyes, just for a day. Or could swap mind's with someone for a day?
Who's eyes or mind would you choose?
wingsoflove (wingsoflove)
